It’s a Great Time for Sex

By Jessica O’Reilly

Timing is key to exciting sex, but many of us fall into the same old routine of sex before bedtime, which is not always ideal after a long day.

Oftentimes, we fall asleep before w e even get to the sexy stuff or we end up rushing through the motions at the cost of both pleasure and intimacy.

Try to break this pattern to bring more spontaneity, variation and excitement into your sex life. Consider having sex…

Before dinner: the traditional date night involves some food, wine, movies and/or dancing. While I love all of the above and each of these date components can put you in a sexy mood, they can also tire you out. So why not try sex before the date begins? You will have more energy earlier in the evening and won’t be weighed down by foods that make you feel bloated. Moreover, satisfying sex releases oxytocin and endorphins that help you relax and calm nerves.

In the morning: put that morning wood and/or relaxed state of mind to good use and have sex as soon as you wake up. Try it on Monday mornings to jump-start your week!

In the middle of the workday (afternoon delight): sex in its many forms (including self-pleasure) can relieve stress, so why not engage in sexual activity in the middle of a stressful day to ease tensions? Set a date with yourself or your partner(s) to meet in a hotel room or other private place for a secret rendezvous or quickie.

Before giving a speech or important business presentation: research from the University of Paisley (West Scotland) indicates that penetrative sexual intercourse helps presenters manage stress (lower blood pressure) during public speaking. Though this research pertains to penile-vaginal intercourse, increased oxytocin levels and stimulation of the vagus nerve occurs in a variety of sexual activities, so it is worth a try.

When you are trying to save money and have nothing else to do: Yes. I am jumping on the bandwagon of the economic crisis and the psychological recession, but I genuinely believe that sex is a great way to pass the time with little or no financial cost. The Internet provides an abundance of free erotica and you can make your own low-cost sex toys using scarves, kitchen supplies, food, vibrating cell phones (wrapped in condoms), hot wax and beaded necklaces.

When you might get caught: risky sex (but always safer sex) can be very exciting, as endorphins and adrenaline can produce an exhilarating high. You will obviously want to consider the consequences of getting caught as well as any legal ramifications before choosing your time and location and bear in mind that even low levels of risk can be very exciting. Sex is great, but as much as it might make for a great story, you obviously do not want to lose your job over an office tryst.

When you are really busy: pencil sexy-time into your day planner so that you do not forget about loving yourself and your partner(s). It is amazing how days, weeks and even months can fly by when we get busy without actually getting busy.

Have fun, experiment and always practice safer sex!

Dr. Jessica O’Reilly is a board-certified sexologist committed to helping clients enjoy healthy, pleasurable sex lives. She has completed her PhD in human sexuality with a focus on training teachers to deliver effective sex education. She loves her work (obviously!) and splits her time between public speaking engagements, freelance writing, program development and consulting in the field of sexual health. Learn more about Jessica at www.jessicaoreilly.com

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